Sunday, October 27, 2013

Just when you think.....

I woke up today, already a little out of sorts.  Not entirely sure why, but figured it would sort itself out.  I had lunch with the family yesterday, that was nice, but not enough time.  There is never enough time these days I find.  I started to get on the iMac, but decided to upgrade the operating system, which took a lot longer than I expected so I decided to sew some "easy" sleep pants.


My project life was already caught up so I pulled out the fabric I had and pattern and got a cutting.
I was cruising along.  Brought it all into my happy place and started sewing.  Now I am not an advanced sewer, more like I took a class in high school and fiddle with it now and then.  I piddled around sewing a section, eating breakfast and updated computer all at the same time.  Around noon I decided to get the pants finished so I could move to a baby book I am doing.  I was at the waste band and put it together, incorrectly.  I tore out the stitches and proceeded to stare at the instructions puzzled why what I had in my hands didn't look like the picture, I jumped up and headed toward my Moms place, rounded the corner and stop in my tracks.  I stared at her door and started bawling.  She's not hear, she hasn't been here for three years!  She can't help me. No one can help me.  I turned back around and went back to my happy place and proceeded to stare at the instructions in silence and in tears for two hours.  Finally I realized I was missing a piece.  But bigger than that a piece of my heart, my history, my life is gone too,  She died on Halloween three years ago.

I am not sure she knew how much I needed her.  I know she knew I loved her, I told her all the time. But today I needed her.  I sat for such a long time trying to wrack my brain on who could I call to ask what I was doing wrong.  The answer, No one.  I am the one everyone calls, not the other way around.

But as I have done my entire life, I figured it out.  I always figure it out.  I always come up with the answer. So in the end I have some cute sleep pants, made with love.  The love of sewing my mom shared with me that I hope to share with those I love as well.  But if I learned anything today I learned that maybe I need a sewing lesson, then maybe I won't spend another afternoon lost!!