It starts. My day started with tears in my eyes as I realized that my mama was not here. She is gone. Lisa, Lindy, Richard and I took dad to Greenlawn today to begin all that needs to be done to say goodbye. It was very hard for my father but thankfully we had started some of it the night before. My sister Dede wrote the majority of the obituary. I found a sweet picture and lisa fluffed it some so it was suitable to print. My father is carrying that picture all around with him, constantly talking to it and giving it a little kiss. Oh sigh. My friend Candra took care of the flowers for the memorial service for me, which was a big relief. This afternoon my parents pastor came to meet with my father and I. It was soooo hard for him and the tears came once more. I am not really that emotional, but this sudden illness and death has thrown me off kilter. You can tell as I am accepting help from my friends who offer. A month ago I never would have done that. Tomorrow my father has some things he wants me to do and I will work some from home. So much emotion floating around in this house sadness, anger, laughter, fear. I just pray mom is looking down knowing I am taking care of Dad and it will be OK.