Sunday, October 31, 2010

She is ...


She is in a better place I am told. Its hard to imagine today that one week ago she was fine and today she is gone. This is one of my favorite photos of mom and two of my sisters. I am sifting through photos and memories and holding on the the past week. As my father held her to his chest she took her last breath at 12:20 am today. Kinda ironic as she is superstitious and she died on Halloween. But I imagine she is in a better place and is reunited with her mother and father, friends and loved ones that have passed. She was so strong a person in life and we were strong for her in death. As you can imagine, the love of her life is devastated but he has us to take care of him. We told her that early this am, we told her it was OK to go that Dad has us and we will take care of him She always said she would "haunt him" if he died first. Now dad hopes it won't be long before he joins her. I hope it is forever. That selfish I know but I can only take so much and I need more time. I have never just abandoned my responsibilities as I have this week. But I know that's what I need to do to get my father and family through this and send my mother to heaven as my father so wants to do. I could not have done it without the support of my best friend who has done so much this week for me. He stepped into a role that was not his to do and explained what a terminal illness means and the choices that go with it in a way that made my mother and father understand. They were able to make the choice to not prolong death without any uncertainty. My dad looked at me and said he is something else and I said yes, yes he is. For me that was a huge load off my heart, mind and soul. My constant companions Lisa, Lindy and Richard gave me the strength I needed to be the leader, to remain strong. I am truly blessed. So tonight we gather for the first time without my mama. We remember, we love and we are together.

3 comments:

Stephanie Gates said...

I'm honored to be your friend. I know how very hard this was for you, for your family. Love you Cindy Lou!

Suzanne said...

It's times like these that you discover what is really important in life and in death. You did it just right. Being together loving and supporting one another is what's most important. I know your mom and dad are proud of their family and the love they have for one another. These next few days will be hard and you hsve my prayers.

Jeni (one of the Mykonos participants) said...

My husband and I are very sorry for your loss. Thinking of you.