Thursday, October 28, 2010

Holding On

That is what I am doing right now, holding on. This is a picture my sister DeDe took of my dad holding my moms hand in the hospital. That is what he is doing, holding on to my mother. I don't think he is ready to let her go, not that I am either. It's happening sooo fast. Her first night home was last night and I don't think Lisa and I slept at all, constantly getting up to make sure she was alright, giving her her meds every three hours, touching her, telling her we love her. I wish I knew how much longer, I have an educated guess, but I wont say it out loud.

So I will keep holding on to every minute, every smile, every I love you. Lindy, Lisa and I are my mother and fathers constant companions. They are going to be sick of us soon. lol. My cousin Barry who I have not seen in 20 years was here today along with my parents pastor and their grandson Chris. My mothers brother is coming tomorrow. I have a lot of guilt as I have really abandoned the office and Tommy. But I just can't be there when my mom needs me these last few days. I can't, I have to hold on....

4 comments:

Suzanne said...

Sweet post Cindy. You are just where you need to be. The office will survive and they certainly understand. You are doing everything just right; keeping her comfortable in her home with the ones she loves near by. Just keep loving her and give her to God when the time comes.

candra said...

Suzanne's right. That office will be there when you get back. You are exactly where you need to be. My phone is on, day or night. I'm here.

Salai said...

You are exactly where you need to be sista! This is the hardest thing you will ever do. If you need anything please call me! I will do anything for you! Love yoU!

Catherine said...

Cindy,
Stop and breathe and hang on to every moment. Nothing is more precious than these moments with your mother. Stay in the present, just be...
Hugs to you, as you traverse one of life's most difficult journey's.
Catherine